You're Not Crazy: How Corporate Language Took Over Your Life (And What We Can Do About It)

A 10-minute read that might change how you see everything

The Test For Your Consideration

Before we dive in, try this quick experiment:

Describe your best friend using only LinkedIn language.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Did you find yourself saying things like "valuable connection" or "high-engagement relationship"? Did it feel... wrong?

Now try describing your last job using only words about human care and connection.

Harder, right?

That feeling? That's what we need to talk about.

You're Not Imagining It

If you feel like everything sounds like a business pitch these days, you're not crazy.

I discovered something shocking: most of us now speak corporate as our first language for describing life.

Think about it:

  • We don't rest, we "recharge" (like batteries)

  • We don't have friends, we have "networks"

  • We don't have hobbies, we have "side hustles"

  • We don't grow as people, we "level up"

  • We don't live, we "optimize"

This isn't natural. It isn’t language that nurtures life.

The Numbers Don't Lie

While we were learning to call ourselves "brands," here's what actually happened:

The Great Wealth Heist

  • 2000: CEOs made 398x what workers made

  • 2024: Still making 399x more (despite "reforms")

  • Translation: While you were "building your brand," they were building their wealth

The Money Talks

  • 59% of Americans can't cover a $1,000 emergency

  • 53% live paycheck to paycheck

  • Meanwhile: The richest 1% own 31% of everything

The Planet Burns

  • Just 100 companies produce 71% of global emissions

  • But they told you: Check your "carbon footprint" (a term BP invented to blame you)

How Did This Happen?

It started slowly, then happened all at once:

Phase 1: The Military Invasion (1950s-2000)

  • Business adopted military language

  • Work became "war"

  • Colleagues became "targets"

  • Meetings became "strategic operations"

Phase 2: The Market Takeover (1980s-2010)

  • Everything became an "investment"

  • Even friendships had "ROI"

  • You became "human capital"

  • Your personality became your "brand"

Phase 3: The Platform Trap (2004-Now)

  • 5.24 billion people became "users"

  • Relationships became "engagement"

  • Life became "content"

  • Addiction became "daily active use"

The Kids Don't Know Any Different

Here's the scariest part: 40% of Gen Z doesn't understand non-corporate workplace language.

They've never known a world where:

  • Friends weren't "connections"

  • Hobbies weren't potential income

  • Rest wasn't preparation for productivity

  • Success wasn't measured in metrics

They're native speakers of extraction.

Why This Matters

This is more than word choice.

Language shapes the way we think about ourselves and each other:

  • When you can only describe yourself in market terms, you become a product

  • When relationships are "investments," people become disposable

  • When rest is "recharging," you're admitting you're a machine

  • When life is "content," experiences become performances

The result?

  • Teen depression up 52%

  • Loneliness epidemic despite being more "connected"

  • Burnout is normal

  • Authentic connection feels impossible

The Ultimate Proof

We asked an AI trained on human writing to describe friendship. It automatically used words like "investment," "value," and "engagement."

Even artificial intelligence speaks corporate by default because that's the language they taught it.

But Here's the Hope

Recognizing the cage is the first step to freedom.

Small Acts of Resistance

Stop saying:

  • "User/follower" → "person/friend"

  • "Content" → "My thoughts, feelings, art, shared moments of living, etc.”

  • "Engagement" → "Connection, dialogue, acknowledgement"

Start saying:

  • "I'm tired" (not "I need to recharge")

  • "I care about you" (not "I value our connection")

  • "This is fun" (not "This is engaging")

  • "I need help" (not "I need support solutions")

Bigger Changes

In relationships:

  • Describe friends without metrics

  • Value presence over productivity

  • Honor rest as sacred, not strategic

At work:

  • Use human language when possible

  • Question why everything needs military metaphors

  • Advocate for clarity over jargon

Online:

  • Share moments, not "content"

  • Connect, don't "network"

  • Be human, not a "brand"

The Test That Matters

Can you describe:

  • Love without investment language?

  • Rest without productivity language?

  • Worth without market language?

  • Community without network language?

If not, you're speaking their language, living their values, building their world.

What Now?

1. Wake Up Others Share this. Not for "engagement" but because people need to know.

2. Create New Language We need words for:

  • Relationships that aren't transactions

  • Value that isn't monetary

  • Success that isn't extraction

  • Rest that isn't recharging

3. Protect the Sacred Some things shouldn't be optimized:

  • Children playing

  • Friends talking

  • Lovers gazing

  • Humans being

The Bottom Line (See What I Did There?)

They colonized our language to colonize our minds. Every time we describe our lives in corporate terms, we're building their world—one where everything is a product, everyone is a resource, and the only value is profit.

But we can speak differently. We can live differently. We can build differently.

It starts with recognizing: This isn't how humans naturally talk. This is how they taught us to talk so we'd accept a world where:

  • CEOs make 400x workers' pay

  • 100 companies destroy the planet

  • Most people can't afford emergencies

  • And we blame ourselves for "not hustling hard enough"

The cage is made of words. And words can be changed.

Share This Because It Matters, Not for "Metrics"

If this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Not to "add value" or "build engagement," but because we need each other to remember: we're humans, not brands.

Want to go deeper?

  • Try the language experiments yourself

  • Start a conversation (not a "dialogue")

  • Question every piece of corporate speak you hear

  • Remember: you're not crazy for feeling like something's wrong

The full academic research behind this is available for those who want the data, citations, and theoretical framework. But you don't need a PhD to know the truth: when we can't even describe friendship without sounding like a business plan, something has gone terribly wrong.

The good news? If language built this cage, language can also set us free.

Start today. Speak human.

Note: All statistics cited are from peer-reviewed research and government sources. The full 15,000-word academic paper with 150+ citations is available for those who want to verify every claim.